random thoughts. reflections on the year. and a resolution to do better next year.

Let's start with my resolution to update this better next year, whether it's about day-to-day life or just random thoughts. Here's to trying! I know some of y'all read this. BUG ME if it's been awhile. (Ahem, Kaci.)

So the year in review:
-My son got bigger. He just turned ONE. Holy cow!
-I'm not going to rant about the milestones he's hit. What matters to me is the JOY he brings to so many people. Often, people stop me in the grocery store and other settings just to look at him. Seriously, I was in Wal-Mart one day and this sweet old man came up to me and ASKED if he could just stand by me and look at him for a minute. He missed his grandkids, and he thought Tripp was adorable. Some people think that's creepy, but it made my heart melt. I'm a sucker for sweet old men, especially the ones who remind me of Papa Smitty.
-David and I celebrated 3 years of marriage. Woohoo!
-I got to take David to his first ever UGA game at Sanford Stadium. Praise God we won that game!
-I worked. David worked. No job changes.
-We bought a house! We love and hate it. Haha! It was nice being an apartment to call maintenance to come fix something without having to pay for it!
-I ran in the Highland Mudder (local) this year. I. DID. AWFUL. But I did it. And I only skipped one obstacle. My poor sister tried to wait on me... I was only a few months post-partum.
-David did the Savage Race. Way more awesome. It was fun trying to keep up with his team. Lesson learned: leave the kid at home or bring the jogging stroller that is meant for crazy terrain.
-I did some great Bible studies with some fabulous ladies. Sadly, I missed out on the last one. :( But those ladies are dear to my heart.
-We made new friends and kept the old. (Pause for a stroll down memory lane in Girl Scouts.)
-We celebrated engagements, weddings, and children.
-We celebrated birthdays.
-We celebrated our friends and family just for being them.
-David got a Bengals room. I got the joy of doing it for him (with an excellent team, of course).
-I got accepted to grad school. I start in 8 days.
-That's all that strikes me right now. I'm sure I left out some random stuff, but nothing is jumping out at the moment.

Random:
-I am pretty sure Diana has a pinterest board of dinosaur things just for me. That makes me laugh.
-The things that come out of kids' mouths makes me laugh.
-I love my niece and nephews. A LOT.
-I am still getting used to my latest phone. The other day I typed a "v" everytime I tried to type a "c." My text looked like it came from a vampire.
-I haven't had ice cream in a long time.
-Babies should be born with teeth. I'm sure moms who can nurse disagree, but teething is awful. AWFUL.
-I really, really love my church. I don't make it every Sunday by a long shot. But, I'm working on it. I love our pastor. I love the people. Even the ones I don't know.
-The people I work with are great. I'm thankful we all get along. (Well, except for Liz... geez. ;) )
-I know I've said this before, but if I need a good laugh, I just go to Peyton's HILARIOUS board on Pinterest. It never fails me.
-I am stoked that Columbus is getting a rock climbing gym. The question is... do I still have my rock climbing shoes and chalk bag or did I donate them? Hmm...
-I have come to the conclusion that I don't like American cheese on sandwiches unless it's a grilled cheese. I don't know why. I just don't. It's gross.
-We moved into the neighborhood with (mostly) the sweetest neighbors. Thankful!
-There is an incredibly smart mouse in our house. Traps - 0, Mouse - 6. Yes, 6. 4 different kinds. Ugh.
-My sister's sugar cookies are crack. Seriously. I've tried making them. They're not the same. I ate a whole plate in 2 days. David hardly had any. I am not ashamed at all.

Onto next year:
-Love more.
-Bicker less.
-Turn the TV off. (Already getting better at this.)
-Put the phone down. Turn it off even.
-Show my faith more. I feel like I hide my faith. Not intentionally. It used to just pop in conversation all the time. I've noticed it hasn't lately. Definitely gotta work on that.
-Give more. With time. With cookies. With money. Whatever I can.
-Take a trip.
-Go running.
-Be an adult without growing up.
-Keep up with a daily devotional. How does daily get so hard?!
-Invest more in my friends family.
-Pay better attention.
-Update this.
- Make Eat more ice cream. And sugar cookies.

Here's the story... hospital to home...

It's been awhile... Do all my posts start like that? I think the holidays + being 9-10 months pregnant gives me good reason, right? Well anyway...

It all started the week of Christmas. I got to a point where I couldn't keep any food down, regardless if it was bland or the tiniest amount of anything. So, I started feeling pretty miserable. Combine that with not sleeping, and I wasn't good for much of anything. Oh yea, and I was still working. I knew being sick wasn't a viral issue or food poisoning; my stomach had just run out of room and was getting too squished. Nothing could be done; I just had to wait it out. My appointment was the 26th, and, though I said initially I wouldn't ask, I already had the mindset to ask - more like beg- to be induced (unless I was making progress). I was physically and mentally near a breaking point and thank the Lord I asked David to get off early the day of my appointment. I just had a feeling it wouldn't end well.

My exact words to my doctor, "If you tell me I haven't made any progress, I'm going to cry." And cry I did. Not sobbing. Just frustrated steady stream of tears. So I sit up and ask, "What are your thoughts on induction?" (Not all doctors support it and will just make you wait it out.) He said he'd send me for an immediate ultrasound, and we'd talk about everything afterward. Everything looked great, but our sweet boy was measuring about 8 pounds, 10 ounces. That's always a hit-or-miss "guesstimate." Doctor said, "This is how he's measuring. That could be dead on, could be 7-10, could be 9-10. We need to get him out." So, he hops on the phone to the hospital and asks what they have scheduled for tomorrow. He turns back to us with, "How's 4:00 for you tomorrow?" My response, "PM?" "Nope, AM." "You mean 13 hours from now?! Ok."

My mind started whirling. I had worked that morning and had intended on working Thursday and Friday to catch up on paperwork. Oops. And there were still essentials that needed to be picked up. And we needed to get keys copied. And we had to take our dog to my mom. And... and... and... After about two hours, my anxiety started to die down. I tied up as many loose ends at work as possible, sent out an urgent e-mail letting them know the situation, and headed out. David took care of the keys and the dog. Krissy helped me pick up some things. I squeezed in a mani/pedi (don't hate!), and David and I grabbed dinner. After about 3 hours of sleep, we headed to the hospital.

From here on out, my "time stamps" are not 100% accurate. Forgive me!
We got to the hospital about 4:15. Praise God for a familiar face! My friend Dara was on shift and actually supposed to be my nurse. "Do you care?" she asked. "Not if you don't." And thank God for Dara. She was amazing. She was only on shift the first 3 hours we were there, but she was back the next night when things got rough... more on that in a minute.

So they start me on Cytotec to get contractions started - a dose every 4 hours as they checked my progression. Wasn't too bad. They gave me Benadryl with something else to help with the pain and to help me sleep through early labor; so, that was nice. I hung with that the majority of Thursday until late that night when they gave me Pitocin. I had only progressed to about 3cm around 9pm. Somewhere between 9 and midnight is when they started Pitocin. "You can have an epidural at any time now." "I'm gonna wait it out a little longer." The pain was tolerable, and I knew epidurals had a chance of wearing off. To all you ladies who go natural - MORE POWER TO YOU! I was going to try, but once I heard my baby might be 10 pounds, I pretty much said "sign me up for the drugs!" My goal was to wait until I was 5-6cm. Once I hit that point, I asked for it. It's now a little before 2am on Friday... almost 24 hours in.

Here's where it starts to get really fun. We had heard from other husbands/dads that watching their wife get an epidural was either a) something they just couldn't do, or b) the worst part of the whole thing. That being said, I asked David to switch with Krissy who was still up there. She had one before, so I knew she knew what to expect. Unfortunately, she is now even more traumatized. The anesthesiologist stuck me 6-7 times before it took. Dara and Krissy were right there- praying for me the whole time. Even though I couldn't hear them, I knew they were. God-sends.

I start to feel my body going numb, except the left side of my stomach/uterus. They rolled me to my left side, but it wouldn't subside. Worst pain I've ever felt in my life. I cried through every contraction. Around 4:30 or 5, the anesthesiologist comes back in and gives me half a dose of what someone would get going in for a c-section. That lasted maybe 30mins-1hour. Around 7, he completely re-did my epidural. Fortunately, he got it on the first stick, and the pain subsided. Alright... now we're back on track.

Somewhere in the midst of everything in the middle of the night/early morning, they told me if I hadn't progressed anymore in an hour (I think), they would take me for a c-section. "Ok." David and I knew it was a very likely possibility, especially with inductions. We had both mentally prepared ourselves as best we could if it did happen. To everyone's suprise, though, I progressed. Around 9-9:30am, I was finally at 9-9.5cm. Even the doctor said, "We're getting this baby out before lunch time." So David called friends and family back up, saying it should be in the next couple of hours. Little did we know...

I started pushing around 11-11:30am. And pushed. And pushed. Around 1-ish, they told me to stop pushing b/c the doctor now on-call was in a delivery. Not pushing did not last long. I was trying, but I was exhuasted; my body was fighting me. So we called the nurse in and just said I couldn't not do it anymore. She came in, and we were back on track. A little bit later the doctor comes in... our baby is stuck, they don't think I can get him out, they're sending me for a c-section. So many emotions went through me. I've made it this far, I've gone this long (37 hours, 3 hours pushing... but who's counting?)... NOW, you call a c-section? "Ok. Let's go. Now." was about all I could get out.

Our little man was born at 2:02pm, 8lbs 12oz, 21 inches long. And he was worth every minute of pain and frustration I endured. Truly. I know it sounds cliche, but I really do mean it. We got to come home Sunday evening. Our friends and families have been huge helps - bringing us meals, holding him while we cleaned, watching him so we could sleep... It's been wonderful. David is an AMAZING dad. So helpful. So patient. And he is waaaaaay better than I am on little-to-no sleep. :)

Here's some things I've learned so far:
-be productive when you can, but sleep first!
-tag-team if you have the opportunity to (I'm lucky David's off for a month. Not lucky. BLESSED. And so grateful.)
-don't be afraid to ask for help
-don't watch Big Bang Theory when your baby is literally asleep on top of you. containing laughter = extremely difficult.

There's plenty more, but that will suffice for now.

But where are the pictures?!?!?! I'll get some up soon. Haven't quite synced the camera to the computer yet. Total let-down. Sorry, folks.

Thanks everyone for your love, prayers, support, and encouragement. We are so grateful. So blessed.
Good night.